Dear Baby E

by parenture on April 25, 2011

My sweet baby girl,

Ten months ago, you arrived in this world and illuminated it. It seems impossible now to imagine my life without yours.

As our first mother’s day approaches, I have a few confessions to make: I’m officially addicted to your smile (I make the silliest sounds and faces just to see it again–and again and again). I travel to faraway places, get lost, and find my way back home–all just by gazing into your sky-blue eyes. I like looking at your poop (weird, I know, but weirdly true).

From the moment I knew you were growing inside of me, I couldn’t wait to meet you. I guess you couldn’t wait either–because you arrived 3 weeks early. When we watch the 4th of July fireworks together this year, I’ll think they’re for you. You were born small (6 lbs, 19 inches) and with a yellowish tint–officially called jaundice, but I like to think it was the first sign of your sunny disposition.

Right from the start, even though you took a while to gain weight, you were strong and cheerful and vivacious. You still are, such a happy babbling baby. But in those first few months, we spent hours together making sure you had enough to eat. I loved those times when you’d nuzzle up close against my chest, sucking milk into your little body straight from my body (it amazes me still!), then dozing off, and eyes closed sip a little more.

These days, you crawl all over the place but mostly you just want to stand up. Repeatedly. You grin each time you rise and look around, seeming both proud and utterly surprised to be in such a strange new position. Then you settle in, wiggling and wobbling along, taking big bold steps, trying to balance yourself while holding onto my hands. You love the swings, smiling wildly and squealing with delight as I push you higher and higher. You can’t wait to try new foods. You like to be on the move (by foot, car, or subway). You want to see and touch and taste and experience everything around you, a traveler already. Your wanderlust started early, my little adventurer, and I know that you will embark on many great journeys throughout your life.

One day, a long time from now, you’ll spread your wings and fly. But thankfully, I have years to get used to that idea. For now, I’ll keep cherishing the way you smile at me first thing in the morning. And I’ll sing you lullabies for as long as you’ll listen. I’ll always kiss you goodnight. Most important, remember this: Wherever you go, you’ll always be a part of me and I a part of you. As E.E. Cummings wrote, “I carry your heart in my heart.”

I love you always, forever, and beyond,


(PS. If you’ve read this far, thanks. I know this is a more personal–read: sappier–post than I usually write. In full disclosure, I borrowed the idea from Babble’s Baby’s First Year blog, where the heartfelt letters from other writers inspired me and just put me in a mushy sort of mood. Check it out–but you might want to keep a tissue box nearby. Happy mother’s day.)

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{ 10 comments… read them below or add one }

Goose April 25, 2011 at 1:12 pm

Such a sweet and beautiful letter! And what an adorable photo! Thanks for sharing!


carrie kulawitz April 25, 2011 at 1:45 pm

made me SOB!~ thank you :)


Alex April 25, 2011 at 5:57 pm

Loved this, Jen. Read it while I was nursing and it made me teary :)


nicole April 25, 2011 at 7:24 pm

Amazingly written! She is such a special girl! So, I may be sobbing right now with tears of happiness and love for you and baby E. Love the picture! She is too beautiful for words to describe. Your love for her is the most special kind of love anyone can have. You are an amazing mother and are the best sister! Happy early Mother’s Day to a woman that creates happiness and love all around her and the smile on Baby E’s face! Her light with in is because of yours. Much Love xoxo


Donna April 28, 2011 at 12:55 am

Beautiful letter and Baby E’s sweet sweet personality is definitely a reflection of her mom’s love!


Sarah May 3, 2011 at 10:39 pm

I just got teary-eyed reading it. So sweet.


Shannon May 27, 2011 at 1:23 pm

What a lovely post! It’s such a great idea to write all this down. My kids love reading about their younger selves and the funny things they said and did. So glad I found you via Momoir. I have wanderlust, too, which is tricky with four kids. Will definitely come back for ideas and inspiration!


parenture May 27, 2011 at 1:54 pm

Thanks so much. And I’m so glad to know about your blog now, too! I’ll definitely check it out!


January May 27, 2011 at 6:25 pm

How very touching! She’s adorable. And I’m like you about being mushy but it’s nice to go there once in a while isn’t it?


parenture May 27, 2011 at 6:48 pm

True, true. Thanks for your comment and I’ll be sure to check out your blog too!


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